Have you ever followed a path for so long you really can’t see any options outside of it? If it’s a job you think to yourself, I don’t have that many skills, my resume is outdated, and anyway this is where my friends are.

I don’t know how many times, I have asked questions until I realized the grass isn’t greener anywhere else or until I settled on the fact that I’m not actually fit enough to jump the fence.

It’s so easy to convince ourselves that change isn’t possible. The truth is, and we all know it. We won’t know unless we go for it.

My grandmother had eleven children (yes you read that right). She decided she wanted to leave her marriage and go to school to be a substance abuse counselor at the age of 52. Can you imagine?

She raised kids her whole life! She had her first born, my mother, when she was 17 years old. I can’t imagine the audacity she had to think she could start all over (AND she was still raising kids).

In the last 30 years she completely transformed herself.

When I was a kid she went roller blading with me and her cool boyfriend with the motorcycle would let me sit on the seat.

She became an amazing inspiration and transformational force in the lives of many. She passed away several years ago and at her funeral I heard story after story from people about how she had touched their lives in profound ways.

Complete strangers were sobbing tears of gratitude for my grandmother’s role in their lives. It was truly incredible!

Had my grandmother stayed on that path she wouldn’t have touched so many with her experience, love, and hope.

So how did she make such a monumental decision? She got herself to the point of threshold. This is the point at which you feel you HAVE to make a change, a change CAN be made, and YOU must be the one to change it.

You might be wondering how you can get yourself to the point of threshold.

Here are some techniques to use:

1. Know what you want – If you really don’t know what you want you may have to decide what you don’t want and backtrack from there. Think about your past and what types of experiences, locations, people, subjects, etc. have sparked your interest and follow that thread to see where it leads.

2. Change your behavior using Pain and Pleasure –
Tony Robbins says the things that control our motivating forces are pain and pleasure. We can ask ourselves these questions to use pain and pleasure to motivate us (and write them down):
         
          -How will not changing my actions be more painful than changing them?
Something I want right now is to get more exercise. So when I think about that I look into the future and I think about my physical health in 10 years, 20 years, when I have young grandchildren, etc. Will I be healthy for long term milestones if I stay on the trajectory that I am on? Ask yourself as many questions as you can think of. This is just my own example, but you can apply this question to anything.
          
        -How can changing my actions bring measurable and immediate pleasure?
Using the same example I know that I will have more energy, feel stronger, and have greater ability to keep up with my son. I can look for a way to have fun while exercising with my son or I can join a sport that brings new friendships and motivation. 

I’m just giving you a brief example, but write as many examples for each question as you can think of. If this is a short term goal like cutting down on unhealthy habits, list your triggers. After a long, hard day I like to either chill or watch a movie. I’m not motivated to do anything late in the day.

To find an alternative list the things you can do instead. In my case I can go for a brisk walk before turning into a vegetable or maybe put my weights in the same area that I would normally read. When you set a goal break it down to simple, small steps. 

There are so many ways to create change in your life and as you make decisions to stay on your path or start anew, remember that you may not be fit enough to get over the fence yet, but as you climb, you will grow the muscles you need.

This blog is just one of my new paths and my greatest wish is that it supports you on yours. Lots of love!

Jen

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