Let’s be clear! I don’t walk around thinking everything is rainbow farts and goody-goody gumdrops. I have a secure grasp of reality and lived through some pretty ugly stuff. I know it is not fun when it feels like everything is falling down around you, but there may be something good about the bad.
I know you are thinking that I may have lost my marbles, but hear me out.
It’s not just about harnessing your ability to see the silver lining. Don’t get me wrong, optimism is great. I love my rose colored glasses. They serve me well.
Sometimes bad things are really happening FOR us, not TO us. It’s so that we can see the whole picture. On more than a few occasions I have experienced a huge reality check. It happens when the thing I thought was going on, uh, really wasn’t. That the idea I had in my head about what the truth was, wasn’t the truth at all.
I’ll give you an example. Way back in 2015 I had 3 crazy things happen within 2 months and they all involved chemicals. Whaaaaa? I know right?
First, I used an acne facial wash that gave me a chemical burn that was so bad I had to run to the doctor. This was a product I had used several years earlier and never had a problem with.
Then… I used a shampoo that made my hair start to rapidly fall out. So I was a hot mess over just that one thing.
Then I hired a specialist to inspect under our house for mold because my allergies kicked up every time the air conditioning went on. He found a common household mold down there so we decided to hire a company to spray our crawl space and clean it up. They used what they said was a safe and effective cleaning solution (they said it was similar to bleach). They apparently used the chemical improperly because we had to evacuate our home. The timing was spectacular too because my mom and my sister both had their houses up for sale which meant we couldn’t stay with them and my husband’s family lives out-of-state. It was a disaster!
We lived in a hotel for 3 1/2 weeks because we had no idea the company that did this would completely abandon us. After several weeks of trying to get their help they sent us a letter stating if we contacted them again they would sue us for slander. We ended up renting an apartment for 6 months while we tried to figure out how the hell to clean up this mess. Finally the Department of Health said in order to make our home safe again we had to replace the duct work, clean the crawl space, and clean everything we owned. Some things that couldn’t be cleaned needed to be thrown out.
It cost us over $25,000 to repair (that’s just what we have receipts for) and didn’t include work missed, dinners out, or extra gas used. It sucked times a bagillion.
When I was going through it I was angry, I was scared, and I was stressed to the max.
You must be wondering how I am going to turn all this stuff into something good. Well, I’m not. That time period still makes me wanna drink a bottle of wine… BUT I’m still glad it happened.
I learned I am resilient as hell!
I learned that when the sh!# hits the fan I can still create moments of joy for our family.
I learned that if you are making good financial decisions before the catastrophe, that you can get through anything (THANK YOU DAVE RAMSEY!).
I learned that chemicals are the devil. Lol. That’s only a half joke, water is a chemical.
Truthfully, these situations helped me to be aware of what I am putting in, on, and around my family. I have zero tolerance for the toxic stuff. I am so thankful for that lesson. I am living a happier, healthier, more purposeful life because of it.
My hormones used to be all kinds of jacked up and I had no idea it was from the cleaning and personal care products I was using. I couldn’t have learned this lesson unless I had completely taken the chemicals out of my life.
Now… how can that thing you are going through help you? Look at your situation. Do you keep attracting the same jerk into your life? Maybe he has a different face and name, but he is still the same. Sometimes there are patterns of behavior that are not serving us. These patterns can include something as big as codependant dynamics between you and your love interest or something as small as barking at your kid whenever they leave their clothes on the floor.
Look at the situation. Figure out what that thing is trying to tell you or where you have seen it in the past. If you are really having a hard time with this or need help seeing it clearly consider talking to a therapist or a counselor. They are specially trained for these things and can be very helpful.
Is there something that needs to be changed? Maybe your environment can use some tweaking (like putting a hamper in the bathroom so the kid can put the clothes there instead). Maybe a relationship should be let go. Maybe you need more exercise or better food choices. Maybe you could choose a new belief.
Whatever it is, we can step back and look at what is happening. We can decide that something can be changed and we can be the ones to change it. Or we can just change the way we look at it.
We have more power than we give ourselves credit for. Just know when you are going through something challenging, it may not feel good. It may never feel good. But, what have you learned about yourself going through it. What would you love to say about yourself at the end?
You may be thinking none of this applies to the situation you are in. You may be right. If that’s true then leave this right here. Take what you can use and leave the rest.
Lots of love!
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